Last night was an eye opening, life altering evening. I no way shape or form was i prepared to face what i did, and yet i think i handled it well. He said he was proud of me and even called me his guardian angel in disguise. I so take for granted the fact i am happy and can keep my self pretty safe.
I was at my sisters house eating leftovers after a long walk and in anticipation for the monday night packer game. I had had a long day at work, my roomie make us cheesecake and when for a long bike ride after lunch that day...As i slurped my stroganoff, i heard my phone ring. As i recognized my roomates phone number i immediately thought he had gotten lost again in the city and so answered, "hey, are you lost?" The voice at the other end however was a woman. She asked for me and then without missing a beat gave her spiel....This is Officer Fisher with the Dane Cty Police Dept. We have your roomate here with a cut on his arm and a suicide threat. Are you busy right now? He has a few options here but ...."Yea i replied, im probably your best bet. Im not busy what do you want me to do? Does he need stitches?" The actual fact of a suicide attempt was not registering in my brain at this point. I thought he had fallen on his bike and needed assistance. Why the police were involved was not clear at all. So the officer told me to meet them at Meriter ER and she would explain everything then.
I finished my meal and told my sister and her fianee what the news was. They were in disbelief as well and told me as honorable as it was to get involved that at some point you need to let well alone. I didnt really see it that way. I thought if i was in my roomie's situation, new to the area and in obvious urgent need, that i would want someone i knew there too. About 730 that night, i arrived at the ER after a surprisingly calm drive. I tried not to think the worst for at this point i knew so little. I checked in at the desk and learned they had heard of the situation but had not seen the case come in. So i waited in the ER. Time ticked away and i called my best friend back home to help ease my nervousness. She was so supportive and i just want to thank god shes in my life.
About a half hour later, the officer emerged from the depths of the ER and asked me to join her. I was led into a hospital exam room where my roomate was sitting by himself. I quickly said hello and was led by the officer into the hallway. There she asked my about my relationship with him and our living situation was going. 'Ive only known him about a month. Somethings have happened that concern me but i didnt know if it was my place to talk about it. I thought he may need meds or perhaps it was just the stress of living in a new place. He has support back home, but as far was this place goes, i am it." The officer made notes on her pad then continued with, 'His parents were contacted and his mother just laughed it off. I feel he has paranoia issues, im going to give you his moms number. I think she needs to hear whats been happening.' The sadness i felt for him at that moment overwhelmed me. How could your parents not take something like this seriously? As the night progressed, and the stories came out about his history of illness and hospitializations i began to see why his mom just said he was fine. These instances were common for him so much so that even his parents were not worried. How can depression and aggresion become routine?
Him and I sat in a room for a long time. A physican came in, then a phelbolomist to screen for toxins and blood components. Finally a social worker arrived and the skeletons came tumbling out. His first hospitalization was in college. Prior to that, he had had issues with anger but never hurt himself. The second time he was hospitalized was when he jumped out of his mom moving car. He didnt want to be a burden to his family anymore so he tried to run away. He called thepolice for advice and ended up admitting himself to a hospital for depression. The third time was less than a year ago. He spent a month in the institution dealing with the same issues. He has been diagnosed with ADD and bi polar disorder. Ask him now if he is suffering from these illnesses and he claims they have gone away.
Several weeks later~ He was fired today and i cant help but feel responsible. For the last week and a half, I have been living with co-workers and my sister. The office asked me to remove myself from the picture and then today decided to let him go-terminate the stress as it were. He didnt take the news so well. He became upset and emotional and called me several times. He asked to have lunch with me and despite his state of mind, i accepted. I thought talking to me may ease his worries and help him focus on the plan to pack up and return home. I may have been partially right. Dillusionment and mania cannot be cured by talking. I may have helped momentarily but he needs more help than i can give. I hate to say it but he needs to be medicated and have consistent support. If i have learned anything in this is that despite what life throws at you if you have a support network you can get through anything. If you dont have that safety net, lord help us all.
